Apostrophe Fail: The Year's Have Been Kind to You

When you care enough to send the very best apostrophe fail, here's the card for you. Thanks to @Colbear for sharing this on Twitter.

Where does this card go wrong? It uses an apostrophe to form a plural word.

Quick rules:

• To turn a singular word into a plural word, just add 's' or 'es' with no apostrophe. Birthdays come once a year. John loves watching football games from the top row of the bleachers.

Correction: 

• The years have been kind to you...

Apostrophe Fail: Mom's Are Great at Ironing Out Life's Wrinkles

On Twitter, bestselling Harlequin Romance author @LynnRayeHarris posted an apostrophe fail she stumbled upon while shopping with her mother-in-law. Oh, the irony. (Ha! A pun!)

Where does this sign go wrong? Besides promoting an outdated, derogatory cliché about mothers, this rather tacky item of home décor uses an apostrophe to form a plural word.

Quick rules:

• To turn a singular word into a plural word, just add 's' or 'es' with no apostrophe. Halloween is a time for ghosts and goblins. I love romance novels. Have you seen my box of pencils?

Correction: 

• Moms are great at ironing out life's wrinkles.

Apostrophe Fail: For Acronym Plurals, Just Add S

On Twitter, @DeliciousSTL shared an apostrophe fail seen on the cover of Esquire magazine:

Hey @Esquiremag, I'm wondering America's Most Inspiring CEO's WHAT?
 

Where does Esquire go wrong? It uses an apostrophe to form a plural of an acronym, which suggests possession.

Quick rules:

• With the vast majority of nouns, you form a plural by adding 's' or 'es' to the end of the word.
• The Associated Press Stylebook makes an exception for single letters: "Use 's. Mind your p's and q's. He learned the three R's and brought home a report card with four A's and two B's. The Oakland A's won the pennant."
• The AP Stylebook has a different rule for multiple letters: "Add s: She knows her ABCs. I gave him five IOUs. Four VIPs were there."

 Correction:

• America's Most Inspiring CEOs

Note: It doesn't help that the news media often flip-flops about how to form plural acronyms. Check out the inconsistency in these recent headlines from The New York Times:

• Sept. 27, 2012: Young CEOs to Compete for Title of Best Young Entrepreneur, Cash and Prizes at NFTE's 2012 National Youth Entrepreneurship Challenge, Presented by MasterCard
• Sept. 22, 2012: C.E.O.’s and the Pay-’Em-or-Lose-’Em Myth
• May 21, 2012: CEOs and CIOs Are Increasingly Disconnected

You're vs. Your: If Your Not First, Your Last

Kudos to @galensmomma for tweeting an important life lesson:

It's a good idea to have somone proofread your work, no matter how simple.

Where does this truck owner go wrong? He doesn't use the contraction you're as a shorter version of you are.

Quick rules: 

• Use your to show possession. We're laughing our butts off at your grammar blunder.
• Use you're as a contraction for you are. We hope you're taking grammar more seriously.

Correction:

• If you're not first... you're last.

Apostrophe Fail: Mens' Netball

A reader sent in this classic apostrophe fail. It's amazing how many folks get this wrong.

Where does Beds SU go wrong? It misplaces the apostrophe when forming a possessive of a plural that does not end in s.

Quick rules:

• To form the possessive of a singular word or a person's name, add apostrophe + s.  The candy bar's wrapper was sticky. This is also true for singular proper nouns that already end in s. James's singing is impressive. Hans's backpack is blue. [see exceptions, below]
• To form the possessive of a plural word that ends in s or es, simply add an apostrophe. The candy bars' wrappers were sticky. The ladies' room is down the hall. This is also true for plural proper nouns. Raccoons made a mess of the Joneses' garage.
• To form the possessive of a plural word that doesn't end in s, add apostrophe + s. The women's room is down the hall. The children's festival is happening in the park.

Exceptions: For the sake of pronuncation, the AP Stylebook and Chicago Manual of Style make exceptions for names of more than one syllable with an unaccented ending. So the possessives of Jesus, Moses and Eurpides become Jesus', Moses' and Euripides'.


Correction:

• Men's Netball

Apostrophe Fail: 100's and 100's Of Products

This tweet from @cassie_white gave me a sharp jab of empathy:

This #apostrophefail at my local @Coles makes me want to self-harm.

Lord, I know the feeling. For some reason people really want to put an apostrophe between a number and the 's' when forming a plural. If you're one of those people, please stop the madness.

Quick rules:

• With the vast majority of nouns, you form a plural by adding 's' or 'es' to the end of the word.
• The same applies when pluralizing numbers or years. Mad Men is about an advertising firm in the 1960s. Ben Franklin lived in the 1700s. A pretty girl in her 20s  (or twenties) just started working here.  

Correction:

• At least 20% off 100s and 100s of products every week

Double Apostrophe Fail: Clean Up Bad Grammar

Rob writes in:

Hey Snarky. I saw this sign in a local park and thought of you. I wonder if it cost extra to add the apostrophes when this sign was made.

Thanks, Rob! I love it!

Where does this sign go wrong? It leaves out the apostrophes in contractions. 

Quick rules:

• It's is a contraction for 'it is'. It's a shame when people don't use apostrophes correctly.
• Its implies possession. Even a dog will respect its owner for using good grammar.
• Don't is a contraction for 'do not'. Don't forget to use apostrophes in contractions.

Corrections:

• Dog Waste: It's your responsibility
• Don't damage property

Apostrophe Fail: Your Invited

Zheesh, talk about not winning friends or influencing people. On Twitter, @StaceyFurt shared an invitation that was destined for the delete button.

Where does Boston College Club go wrong? It doesn't use the contraction you're as a shorter version of you are.

Quick rules: 

• Use your to show possession. I think we should use your car this time.
• Use you're as a contraction for you are. When you make that face it looks like you're really mad.

Correction:

• You're Invited

Apostrophe Fail: Stair's Caution

Oh dear. On Twitter, @fixercreative posted an apostrophe nightmare that made me laugh out loud.

Where does this sign go wrong? It uses an apostrophe to form a plural word.

Quick rules:

• To turn a singular word into a plural word, just add 's' or 'es' with no apostrophe. I like apples. Fall is a great season for watching football games.

Correction: 

• Stairs - Caution

Mind the Grammar Gap

Noreen posted this on our Facebook wall:

My children spotted this sign outside a tube station in London last week and insisted I snap a photo. Am glad to know they have been listening to my grammar rants.

Well done, Noreen! The world would be a far better place if more moms (and mums) drummed basic grammar skills into their offspring. 

Where does this distinguished Cheeto vendor go wrong? He uses an apostrophe to form a plural word.

Quick rules:

• To turn a singular word into a plural word, just add 's' or 'es' with no apostrophe. I love weddings. He and his friend always order turkey sandwiches.

Correction:  

• 2 Flavors

A Glass of Water, Please. Hold the Apostrophes.

I love when my Twitter friends patrol for punctuation goofs. Just this morning @camillasia called my attention to this photo:

@snarkygrammar Found this #apostrophecatastrophe while out to dinner

Where does this label go wrong? It uses an apostrophe to form a plural word.

Quick rules:

• To turn a singular word into a plural word, just add 's' or 'es' with no apostrophe. I like peppers. Halloween is a great holiday for witches.

Correction:  

• Various Chilis

Captain America, Save Us From Apostrophe Hell

Hey, movie buffs! A 1940's period film about Captain America starring Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel L. Jackson is being filmed in Manchester, England. But there is evil afoot. My Twitter friend @lobothecat showed me this photo with a tweet:

Another one for you @snarkygrammar >> major apostrophe-catastrophes on this Captain America film set: http://j.mp/cBhTWv

Good God. Don't the filmmakers realize that children are going to see this? 

Where does the set designer go wrong? The signs on this store use apostrophes in all the wrong ways to form plurals and possessives.

Quick rules:

• To turn a singular word into a plural word, just add 's' or 'es' with no apostrophe. I like dogs. He eats turkey sandwiches.
• To make a possessive adjective from a plural word ending in 's,' add only an apostrophe. She couldn't enter the boys' club. The line outside the ladies' room was very long.
• To make a possessive adjective from a plural word not ending in 's,' add an apostrophe + s. She couldn't enter the men's club. The zoo had a special children's section.

Corrections: 

• Men's & Boys' Pants
• Cohen's Outfitters
• Boys' Knickers

Whose vs. Who's: Win with Good Grammar

Jason writes:

Hey Snarky,
Check out this headline from Bleacher Report. Epic grammar fail, eh?

Oy! Thanks for sending this in, Jason. It's a great example of how homophones are so often confused.

Where does Bleacher Report go wrong? Its headline confuses whose with who's.

Quick rules:

• Whose is a possessive pronoun. Whose jacket are you wearing?
• An apostrophe doesn't always show possession. Note that none of the possessive pronouns (my, your, his, her, its, our, their, whose) are spelled with an apostrophe.
• Who's is a contraction of who is (or, less frequently, who has). The apostrophe takes the place of the letter 'i'. Who's wearing your jacket?

Correction: 

• Oakland Raiders 2010: Who's Your Leader?

Apostrophe Madness at Fat Boy's

Yikes! @sbartholomew tweeted:

I know I shouldn't be a grammar bully, but this is apostrophe madness: http://yfrog.com/f39wroj - not even consistent!

Where does Fat Boy's go wrong? It uses apostrophes to form plural words — not all the time, mind you. Just randomly.

Quick rule: 

• To create a plural word, just add s or es. The pizzas were delicious. The pastas came with creamy sauces.
• Use an apostrophe to show possession. The pizza's crust was delicious. The pasta's sauce was creamy.

Correction:

• Pizzas, BBQ Ribs, Fish & Chips, Hot Wings, Burgers, Pastas, Lasagne, Milkshakes, Nachos

Your vs. You're: It's as Easy as ABC

I love it when folks use Twitter as a teaching tool. @laura_thompson tweeted:

Dear ABC: Next time you use subtitles, remember... Y-O-U apostrophe R-E means "you are". Y-O-U-R means "your"

Where does ABC go wrong? It doesn't use the contraction you're as a shorter version of you are. And why is there a question mark? That's a statement, not a question.

Quick rules: 

• Use your to show possession. We're watching ABC on your TV.
• Use you're as a contraction for you are. It's hard to take you seriously when you're laughing so hard.

Correction:

• I don't get what you're saying.

Apostrophes: Hers, Mine and Ours

Hats off to grammar deputy @shayman. He used Google Maps to show me the street view at Bloor Street West and Beresford Avenue in Toronto. Hide this from your children, folks. The address belongs to a lingerie store that affronts the decency of grammar-loving people everywhere. 

Where does this fancy undies shop go wrong? It uses an apostrophe in a possessive pronoun.

Quick rule:

• You don't always need an apostrophe + s to show possession. In fact, none of the possessive pronouns include an apostrophe: Mine, yours, his, hers, its, ours, theirs

Correction:

• HERS for lingerie

Apostrophes: Unsportsmanlike Conduct

When showing your team spirit, try not to botch the punctuation and look like fools. @shayman said it best with a tweet:

People, people, people. There is no apostrophe in "ARGOS SUCK."

Where do these football fans go wrong? They used an apostrophe to form a plural word.

Quick rule: 

• To make a plural word, just add "s" or "es." 
• Add an apostrophe + s when you want to show possession.

Correction: Argos suck

Forming Plurals: Hold the Apostrophe, Please

Kay sent in this photo and wrote:

"Hello – thanks for 'The Apostrophe Song.' Here’s a pic of an offending sign outside a bar just near where I live, in SoHo, Hong Kong."

Hubboy, looks like the person who wrote this had one hell of an apostrophe hangover. Thanks for sending it in, Kay!

Where does this bar go wrong? It uses apostrophes to form plural words.

Quick rules:

• When you want to make a plural word, just add "s" or "es."
• Adding an apostrophe + s implies possession. The bar's sign made its customers giggle to themselves.
• Mohito? It's spelled mojito, people.

Correction: 

• Take a cool dive into cosmopolitans, bellinis, mojitos, daiquiris, martinis, and more...

Apostrophes: Wrap your Big Egghead Around This One

Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee

This video from The Onion is absolutely hilarious. While I was howling with laughter, I couldn't help but notice a punctuation goof in this caption:

James' Mother Loved Him Despite Disability

Where does The Onion go wrong? It fails to use an apostrophe + s with a singular noun to show possession.

Quick rule:

• To show possession with a singular noun, add apostrophe + s. The rule applies even if the noun already ends in s.
• To show possession with a plural noun that ends in s, add an apostrophe. The ladies' handbags were piled on a chair.

Correction: James's Mother Loved Him Despite Disability

Good Stuff: The Apostrophe Song

Move over, Justin. Step aside, Miley. This catchy little edu-ditty has caught on with grammar lovers, thanks in part to shout-outs from the Huffington Post and Stephen Fry.

All together now: Don't put an apostrophe in its unless you mean 'it is'

There's an app for that: Check it out, grammar kids! You can download the iPhone app and get the Apostrophe Song in four musical styles — pop/dance, rock, hip hop, and acoustic. There are also built-in quizzes and other fun stuff. The best 99¢ you'll ever spend!