Parallel Structure: Verb Tense Agreement

Sabrina writes:

Hey Snarky! I wrote a persuasive essay that included this sentence:

The phone ban in my school launched a storm of protests, from students who hung up posters to parents emailing the principal.

My teacher circled 'hung up' and 'emailing' and wrote "not parallel." Can you please explain what's wrong with that? It looked good to me.

A lot of grammar rules are really about sentence organization. When sentences are well-organized, it's easier for the reader to follow along and understand your meaning.

A sentence that includes a list, range, or comparison should be organized so that the examples follow a parallel structure.

Your sentence includes the idiom "from _______ to _______," which is used to give a range of examples. So the examples that come after 'from' and the 'to' should be parallel.

Right now, the nouns agree but the verb tenses do not.

from students who hung up posters | to parents emailing the principal.   

from + pl. noun + who + past participle | to + pl. noun + present participle ("-ing")....

Quick rules:

• In sentences that contain a list, range, or comparison, compose your examples so that nouns match and verbs are in the same tense.

Corrections:

• The phone ban in my school launched a storm of protests, from students hanging up posters to parents emailing the principal.
• The phone ban in my school launched a storm of protests, from students who hung up posters to parents who emailed the principal.

Rachael Ray Goes Cannibal

This post from The Daily What made me laugh out loud. It's a fantastic example of why we need commas.

Where does Tails magazine go wrong? By leaving out a necessary comma in a list, it implies that Rachael Ray has cannibalistic tendencies. The cover line meant to say that Rachael is inspired by three things: (1) cooking, (2) her family, and (3) her dog. Instead, it makes us fear what's in her meatloaf.

Quick rule: When writing any list, use a comma to separate each item. The final comma separating the last two items is optional. Sometimes called the Oxford comma, it goes before the word 'and.'

A comma can completely change the meaning of the sentence. Consider Jim likes walking, his dog, and reading versus Jim likes walking his dog and reading. In the first case, Jim likes three things. In the second sentence, he likes two things.

Correction:

• Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking, her family and her dog. (without Oxford comma)
  
• Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking, her family, and her dog. (with Oxford comma)

Apostrophe Madness at Fat Boy's

Yikes! @sbartholomew tweeted:

I know I shouldn't be a grammar bully, but this is apostrophe madness: http://yfrog.com/f39wroj - not even consistent!

Where does Fat Boy's go wrong? It uses apostrophes to form plural words — not all the time, mind you. Just randomly.

Quick rule: 

• To create a plural word, just add s or es. The pizzas were delicious. The pastas came with creamy sauces.
• Use an apostrophe to show possession. The pizza's crust was delicious. The pasta's sauce was creamy.

Correction:

• Pizzas, BBQ Ribs, Fish & Chips, Hot Wings, Burgers, Pastas, Lasagne, Milkshakes, Nachos

Lists: iPad is Unparallel

Karen writes:

"I loved your post about Apple's 'iPad is delicious' ad using non-parallel elements. That's one of my biggest pet peeves. Have you seen the latest ad? It's even worse!"

Let's look at the copy:

iPad is medical, live, musical, work, play, memories, social, magazines, historic

Egads, Karen, you're absolutely right! The list in this ad is a hodgepodge of nouns and adjectives.

Where does the iPad ad go wrong? Its list doesn't follow a parallel structure.

Quick rules: 

• When listing items or thoughts, use the same part of speech throughout. So if the first item in your list is a gerund, the rest should be gerunds. Today I'm going hiking, swimming, kayaking, and biking.
  
• Use parallel structure when writing headings, bullet points, and other types of categories. 

Correction: 

• iPad is medical, live, musical, professional, playful, memorable, social, media-friendly, historic
• iPad is medicine, TV, music, work, play, memories, social media, magazines, history

Lists: Imagine the iPad in a Parallel Universe

Sarah writes:

"You know that "iPad is delicious" ad? It annoys me that the list isn't parallel. Am I a big geek, or what?"

Hey, let's not have any name calling. Parallel lists are one of my big hang-ups, too. In the iPad ad, the copy goes like this:

iPad is delicious, current, learning, playful, literary, artful, friendly, productive, scientific, magical

Every word in the list is an adjective, except for "learning." As an "-ing" verb, it can be either a participle or a gerund. But that doesn't matter here. What matters is that "learning" is not an adjective. Ack! It sticks out like a sore thumb.

Where does the iPad ad go wrong? Its list doesn't follow a parallel structure.

Quick rules: 

• When listing items or thoughts, use the same part of speech throughout. So if the first item in your list is an infinitive verb, the rest should be infinitive verbs. Today I'm going to wake up, brush my teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, and go to school.
  
• Use parallel structure when writing headings, bullet points, and other types of categories.

Correction: 

• iPad is delicious, current, curious, playful, literary, artful, friendly, productive, scientific, magical
• iPad is delicious, current, inquisitive, playful, literary, artful, friendly, productive, scientific, magical

Subject-Verb Agreement: A Wordy Stir-Fry

Alan e-mailed me about this article in Time magazine, which was written by Stephen Fry back in April about the launch of Apple's iPad. The article contained the following passage:

I do believe Jobs to be a truly great figure, one of the small group of innovators who have changed the world. He exists somewhere between showman, perfectionist overseer, visionary, enthusiast and opportunist, and his insistence upon design, detail, finish, quality, ease of use and reliability are a huge part of Apple's success.

Alan, who also blogged about the Time article, points out, "Since the real subject of the last phrase is insistence, the corresponding verb should be singular." 

I'm impressed! With no fewer than 14 nouns in that second sentence, Alan managed to find the one that mattered most, grammatically speaking.

Where does Stephen go wrong? He got tripped up in his own wordiness. In building a very long sentence that contains two phrases, each of which includes a litany of nouns, Stephen lost track of his own subject in the second phrase. He would have been better off breaking that extra-long sentence into two shorter sentences.

Writer beware: When we hear (or say) a long list, our minds often get thinking in the plural. 

Quick rule: A singular subject takes a singular verb.

Correction: He exists somewhere between showman, perfectionist overseer, visionary, enthusiast and opportunist, and his insistence upon design, detail, finish, quality, ease of use and reliability is a huge part of Apple's success.

i.e. vs. e.g.: Comic Relief from The Oatmeal

Confused about when to use i.e. and when to use e.g.? The Oatmeal lays it all out for you.