Isn't it Ironic? Don't You Think?

Jacob, a 9th grader from Utah, recently sent me an e-mail asking for examples of irony. It's a great query, since irony is one of the most incorrectly used words and misunderstood concepts.

It's ironic that most of the situations described in Alanis Morisette's 'Ironic' are not ironic. Rain on your wedding day? Unfortunate but not ironic. A red light when you're already late? Bad luck, but not ironic.

Definition:

• irony (n.) - incongruity between what is expected and what actually occurs; an often indirect contradiction between the surface meaning and the underlying meaning.

Examples of irony:

The word 'school' is misspelled in a school zone. That's ironic.

A guy wearing a 'Peace Team' t-shirt is part of a violent altercation. That's ironic.

Irony is best explained through examples. Please send in your own photos and videos demonstrating irony.

Word Nerd: All Right

What people write: alright

Correct expression: all right

Meaning: agreed; okay; without a doubt.

The adverb all right frequently appears as a single word, alright, in fictional dialogue and on web sites without copy editors (e.g. Huffington Post, Gawker). Yet the one-word spelling is not accepted as standard by any respected dictionary or style guide. 

• The AP Stylebook is categoric. 'Never alright.'
• Strunk & White's The Elements of Style says, 'Properly written as two words—all right.'
• The Chicago Manual of Style states, 'Two words. Avoid alright.'

Examples:  

• It's all right if you don't want to come with me to the movies.
• I thought I did all right at volleyball tryouts, but I'm not sure I'll make the team. 
• All right, already! I took the last piece of pie, and I'm not sorry!

Enforce vs. Inforce: Only One is a Word

Sherry writes:

This sign was all over a parking lot in Quincy, Massachusetts. 

Thanks, Sherry, for turning in this typo!

Of course, the correct verb is enforce, meaning to carry out. The police enforce the laws. As it turns out, inforce is not a word. But I happen to love this definition from Urban Dictionary:

inforced - Word used by an ignorant person trying to say something was put in force.

Person 1: Wow, she is an idiot.
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: She said a man's car insurance wasn't inforced yet.
Person 2: Oh wow, she is an idiot.

 Correction:

• Enforced 24 hours a day

Outlawed Expression: Mute Point

Claire writes:

Dear Snarky,
My new boss often uses the expression 'it's a mute point.' I thought I was just misunderstanding him when he spoke, but he's written it incorrectly in several memos during the past few weeks. Drives me crazy!

Oh, wow. I have to say that I've never run across this error before. But sure enough, when I searched for 'mute point' on Google, some 63,000 listings popped up. Really, people? Really?

This is so utterly, hilariously, ridiculously wrong that I don't even think I should attempt a correction. Instead, I will share this definition from Urban Dictionary:

mute point - addressing the participants of a conference call while your phone is on mute. It was ten minutes before Robert realized that the eloquent argument he made was actually a mute point.

Literally Lindsay

Did you know that Weird Al Yankovic is a fully deputized member of the Grammar Police Force? Earlier today he posted this photo on Twitter, which features the cover of Vanity Fair with a circled quote attributed to Lindsay Lohan:

 "I'm literally falling apart!"

To which Al tweeted, "LITERALLY??!"

Where does LiLo go wrong? She maintains her status as a huge diva by misusing the word literally. Favored by drama queens, literally is frequently misused and abused.

Quick rules:

• Literally means 'actually' or 'in a strict sense.'
• Unless you mean that something actually happened (not just in your mind, or metaphorically, or in an exaggerated way to make a point), then don't use literally. (Hilariously, @grammarsnark subsequently tweeted: "Lindsay needs this CNN article, stat. http://bit.ly/a7lxuu")

Correction:

• It feels like I'm falling apart!
• I'm falling apart, figuratively speaking!
• I'm falling apart!

Word Nerd: Afterward

What people say: afterwards

Correct expression: afterward

Meaning: at a later time; subsequently

Examples:  

• I mopped the floor and had to be careful afterward to watch my step.
• If you have to tell Mary the bad news, try to say something positive afterward.

From the comments: Anonymous commented that afterwards is listed in some dictionaries, which led me to dig deeper. The Chicago Manual of Style points out that many directional words (toward, afterward, forward, upward, and so on) end in an 's' in British English. In American English, the conventional spelling is without an 's' at the end. Thank you, Anonymous!

Slang: Does it Belong in the Dictionary?

Has a teacher or employer ever criticized you for using slang in your writing? On Twitter and Facebook, I questioned the recent addition of chillax into the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Chillax? That trendy expression favored by schoolkids and skater boys? Bah! That's slang, I complained. Doesn't belong in a dictionary. Stop the madness. And so on and so forth.

I've climbed off my soapbox and softened my stance a bit after viewing this video, in which an editor at Merriam-Webster makes a great case for why slang is — and must continue to be — included in dictionaries. Every English teacher needs to see this as a reminder to stay humble.

On the other hand, smart students and writers will always consider their audiences. If your teacher has explicitly told you that she does not want to see slang in your essay, then wise up and don't use slang. If you're writing a cover letter to accompany a college or job application, do not use slang. When you're e-mailing or texting your friends, do whatever you want.

From the comments: Akil suggests that dictionaries should wait for a longer period of time before introducing slang words, to be certain the word is still in common usage. What do you think?

Word Nerd: Irregardless

What people say: irregardless

Better word: regardless

Meaning: despite everything; anyway

Wordsmiths often claim that irregardless is not a word, but that's not strictly true. According to Merriam-Webster, irregardless has been a part of American speech since the early 20th century. Yet it never caught on in written prose and has always been roundly slammed by grammarians. Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" suggests that it is a double negative, since it combines the 'ir-' prefix and the '-less' suffix. The "AP Stylebook" simply states, "Regardless is correct."
 
Examples:

• Even though it was raining, they went hiking regardless.
• He dated the older girl, regardless of his mother's opinion of her.

A Tad Bit Redundant

Diane sent in a handful of examples of what's been irking her lately, including this post from the discussion forums on Chowhound. She writes:

I found your blog today and I absolutely love it. I'm quite surprised, however, that you don't have an entry about one of my biggest grammar peeves lately — the "tad bit" of something. I'm not sure when this started becoming so commonplace, but it seems like I'm seeing it more and more often lately. Thankfully none of these examples come from particularly academic sources. Would it be possible to remind your dear readers that tad is a noun, bit is a noun, and tad bit is freaking redundant?

She's freaking right, of course. Tad and bit mean the same thing, so you can have one or the other but you definitely do not need both together.

And while we're at it, let's clean up the punctuation. This Chowhound post is a statement but ends with a question mark, so we either need to reword to make it a question or keep the syntax but lose the question mark.

Correction:

• why are wines a tad effervescent?
• why are wines a bit effervescent?

Word Nerd: Refudiate

Merriam-Webster's "word of the summer" is refudiate. It became the most-often searched term on Merriam-Webster.com after Sarah Palin used the word twice. The only trouble with the word refudiate? It doesn't exist.

Here's an exceprt from the Associated Press coverage:

That didn't deter Palin when the former Alaska governor used it on a news show and in a Twitter message in July in place of refute or repudiate, which have similar meanings. Refute means to prove something wrong or deny its truth or accuracy. Repudiate means to refuse any connection with something or reject it as untrue or unjust.

I just love this story. Have you ever uttered a pseudo-word?

Word Nerd: Anyway

What people say: anyways

Correct expression: anyway

Meaning: in any case

Examples:  

• I don't care for fish, but it's good for me so I eat it anyway.
• Who cares, anyway?

Outlawed Expressions: Could Of, Should Of, Would Of

Linda e-mailed me this screenshot to illustrate her biggest pet peeve.

"I cringe when people write "could of" or "should of" or "would of." This triple whammy makes me want to throttle WarriorMom, the woman in the picture!"

Oh, wow. That's a whole lot of wrongness to handle all at once.

Where does WarriorMom go wrong? She uses not one, not two, but three outlawed expressions.

Quick rules:

• There is no such thing as "could of," "should of," or "would of."
• Use could've, should've, and would've as contractions for could have, should have, and would have.

Correction: I Could've, Would've, Should've

Word Nerd: For All Intents and Purposes

What people say: for all intensive purposes

Correct expression: for all intents and purposes

Meaning: for all practical purposes; in a practical sense; in every important way. Used to describe a situation that isn't technically true, but it might as well be true. 

Examples:  

• Jacob doesn't have a security system installed in his home. But for all intents and purposes, his dog is his security system.
• The freelance writer's living room is, for all intents and purposes, her office.
• For all intents and purposes, Jon Stewart is a news anchor.

Good Stuff: John Cleese Couldn't Care Less

John Cleese indulges in a wee rant about folks who say could care less when they mean couldn't care less.

He's right, of course. If you could care less, then why bother mentioning it at all? The correct expression is couldn't care less.

In Affect vs. In Effect: Grammar Advisory is in Effect

On Twitter, @that_angela pointed out a Calgary Herald story about wildfires that uses the prepositional phrase in affect. Here is the sentence:

James Finstad with Alberta Health Services said its health advisory is still in affect.

Now, before we all start guffawing into our sleeves, let's acknowledge that we understand perfectly well how this happened. Folks routinely mix up 'affect' and 'effect,' which are most commonly used as a verb and a noun, respectively. But once you add the little preposition 'in,' only one of the two words can follow.

Quick rules:

• The prepositional phrase in affect does not exist.
• The prepositional phrase in effect can be used as either an adjective or an adverb. In this example, it is an adjective meaning 'operational' or 'in force.'

Correction:

James Finstad with Alberta Health Services said its health advisory is still in effect.

Note: In a perfect world, James Finstad would be identified by his title, which should be set off by commas. James Finstad, a spokesperson for Alberta Health Services, said its health advisory is still in effect.